More Little Fish Updates

So what have I been up to lately, artistically speaking, that is? Here are some tidbits:


I met today with Antonio Sacre, an awesome bi-lingual storyteller. I first met him at the Jonesborough International Storytelling Festival in Tennessee in 2007. He lives out here and makes his living telling stories, and I wanted to meet with him and pick his brain about just that. He was very generous with his brain, and gave me lots of info and advice, so this goal will be taking a priority over certain other artistic projects. I need to get my content ready, get a website and some video ready, and market myself to schools and libraries. I already have some content in the form of folktales. As some of you may know, I was a member of the KSU Tellers back in Georgia. But I need to find my voice as a storyteller. This may take a while, but for now, I can just do my best with the content I have.


Tonight I went to my weekly class for The Write Club. In this club, what we do is often storytelling, but it is called "solo performance", which as I've been told is actually different than storytelling. Solo performance can incorporate storytelling, but storytelling is much more of a specific craft. In The Write Club, we write stories, mostly personal narratives, or poems, or whatever, and perform them. Some of the works coming out of this class are amazing! This is an awesome class, and the fact that I was able to get in is a gift from above, I believe, because it is by invitation only. I'm learning so much here about crafting stories from my own experience.


When I first got to L.A., I tried several things right off the bat. I took an improv class, a different solo performance class, and did a showcase with some other actors of An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein. Theatre out here is primarily performed in order to gain attention from film industry people, and thus showcases abound. Limits of money and time required that I make choices. I already know a lot about improv, the solo class was too expensive, and the showcase is remounting, but I opted out for the second go round. I am trying to narrow my options.


On the other hand, I'm picking up new ways to spend my time. I've joined a band, and have been working to advance my guitar skills, in addition to singing. Plus, there is my writing, which there never seems to be enough time for. I wonder why?


I'm still waiting to see if I get into that Warner Brothers television writing program, so I'll keep you posted about that, and these other endeavors. Hopefully God will make my path straight, because it gets tough being away from my family and the life I had in Georgia. But like my wise grandpa told me on the phone recently, "You can't have everything." At least not on earth, anyway.

My "Revolutionary Road", Part II

I promised you a follow-up to Part I, and I don't want to split this one up, so please hang in there with me. Here goes...

I feel like this is difficult to write, partly because I am still smack-dab in the middle of it, still going through whatever this trial is. I would probably not be writing this, but I feel that God wants me to share some of the discoveries I have been making through His Spirit. I personally believe that God is preparing me spiritually for whatever it is I am supposed to do out here in LA, and is taking my faith to a new level. Right now, though, it just feels like I don't have much faith. Oh, I believe in Him, I love Him, but I have been wrestling with Him. I feel like I don't trust enough, like I don't love enough, like I have too many desires and distractions, and am having trouble putting Him first.

You know, I never understood until recently that whole story about Jacob wrestling with God. I always thought that sounded just wrong of Jacob. Who was he to wrestle with God? Why would God enter into such a thing with a mere man? I never liked the story much. But now I understand, I think.

Did you know this life is not about our happiness? I think I must have. Suddenly, however, seemingly out of the blue, it's a concept I'm having trouble with. Take "true love", for example. It's a concept we're all raised with, and I have come to think lately that subconsciously it has been a notion which has ruled many of my dreams and hopes over the years. That idea of one day finding that happiness which we all seek, which will be fulfilled in the perfect mate.

That's what Kate Winslet's character must have hoped for in the movie "Revolutionary Road", or she would not have married Leo DiCaprio's Frank Wheeler. But does it ever live up to our expectations? I hear once in a while about a marriage which is still full of passion many years later, or ones that get better over time, but still these are not the relationships we read about in the books. I once heard a line on one of my favorite TV shows of all time, "Northern Exposure" that I could not forget. RuthAnne, the store owner, is proposed to by a traveling salesman, and she declines, telling him that he is a romantic, and romantics are always disappointed with marriage. That stuck with me, and scared me a little.

The "Twilight" books are actually what acted as catalyst to this recent worry of mine. I say worry because I should be trusting it to God, but I mostly just worry obsessively over it. They portray such an amazing love story, and there are some really nice elements to the story. However, is it healthy to get drawn into such a romantic story? Does the dream for such a relationship become an idol when we make it so important? I understand all of the things I think I should- that God is who we are ultimately longing for when we long for that, that our happily ever after will be in Heaven with Him, that I need Him and nothing else.

But that does not keep me from wanting other things, or thinking sometimes that I am kind of sad that there is no marriage in Heaven like there is on earth. Of course, I don't think God says there will be no romantic love, but Jesus says there is no marriage (forgive the paraphrase). So I try to trust more, and only end up falling short in my thoughts. Thankfully, a friend reminded me yesterday in a wonderful piece of writing, that the thoughts are not always in sync with what the Spirit knows to be true, and that our inner selves are one with Christ no matter what our thoughts are doing. Right about now, though, I sure wish my thoughts would straighten up.

It all comes down to that whole thing that it is not about me. I started reading "The Purpose Driven Life", which my mother gave my years ago and I had not read yet. I was feeling unhappy and homesick and confused here in LA, even though God has provided over and beyond what I could have hoped for already. I was thinking I would be happier somewhere else, even though I have wanted to be in a position to pursue my dreams for so long. I was confused and needed direction. The first line of the first chapter says, "It's not about you."

Wow- really? I have become so self-involved over the last few years that I must have forgotten what I already knew. I went through so much with my divorce and tried to be so faithful to my marriage and do what was right, I think I came out with this idea that the rest of my life would be about me being happy. And that is not it at all! I believe God wants us to be happy, but His purpose for us is first, and ultimately, we are here to serve His purpose and Kingdom. Some of His beloved, faithful, highly-used servants and prophets suffered horrible earthly ends. Wasn't Isaiah sawed in half? The problem is when you are self-involved and have long-held notions and dreams about what you want that you think will make you happy, it is really tough to let go of those.

So there you go. I am struggling daily to surrender these dreams and hopes, even if that is ultimately what He wants for me. That is one reason I was so fascinated by "Revolutionary Road", because that is what most of us just don't get. We expect to be happy because that is what we were designed for- life with God. But we don't live in the world we were designed for. My reward is in Heaven, not here. And it is really hard to accept this and I constantly fail. I am a romantic and can't help but hope for these things. I can't help myself at all. I just hope that eventually, I will have such a strong love for Him and trust in Him that the rest just follows. I thought I did, but it's amazing what the Spirit will expose that we don't even have a clue is lurking underneath.

Recently my roommate and I were talking about the Bible, which is pretty cool considering she told me in clear terms before I moved here that she is not religious and does not like to talk about religion. Somehow we got on the subject of Abraham, and she wanted to know why God would make him wait all that time for what was promised to him. I think I started to tell her about learning to trust Him, which is true, I believe. But then it occurred to me. Maybe God wanted Abraham to realize that what he wanted so bad, to have a son, just was not as important as he thought it was. Not as important as serving His purpose and loving Him. It turns out, for Abraham, the two went hand in hand, but they may not always. Even Jesus prayed to have His cup taken from Him, but God's purpose was more important to Him than anything, so we can all be thankful for that fact!

I know some of you out there are romance writers, and please don't think I'm dissing on romance. I am a romantic dreamer of the most extreme kind, I think, which is one of the reasons this is a hard lesson to learn. But it's also a lesson that will hopefully help me to store up my treasures in Heaven, as Jesus commanded, and help me keep perspective out here in this place where what is really important is perhaps harder to see than it is anywhere else on earth. If I can ever come out on the other side of this trial, that is. Maybe you can send some prayers my way if you are reading this. I also may post my friend's article about the inner and outer consciousness, and oneness with Christ. It's great! Thanks for your patience with the long post! And one more thing- I am really thankful now that God is willing to wrestle with us and doesn't just quit on us!

Operation: Work for Joss Whedon

This Friday, I started a hopefully unique campaign to draw attention to myself as a writer who should be working for Joss Whedon. For those of you who are not familiar with his work, he has written primarily for television, and is the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the film and the series, Angel, Firefly and Serenity, my own personal favorites, and most recently, Dollhouse. During the writer's strike, he wrote and produced a comedy/musical for the web called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and because of his large fan following and the quality of the writing, it became a huge success, proving that writing for the web is an important part of the industry and that writers should be compensated accordingly.





I love the genre of his writing. Fantasy and sci-fi are the main area of interest for my own artistic focus. Someone back in Atlanta, who lived out here for several years, told me that she landed a job working for a famous actor by calling his office every day. Finally, she became his personal assistant, and was eventually given small roles in some of his films. I thought this sounded like a fine idea, and Joss Whedon is the name that came to my mind as the one on whom I wanted to focus my efforts.





So, this past Friday I began the campaign. I sent in my first resume and cover letter to his company, Mutant Enemy Productions. I tried to make it clever and funny, and I imagine how he and his writers will gather around and read it and have a good laugh. They will see from my letter what a super writer I am, and that I need to be made a part of their staff post-haste. Or, maybe not. It is possible they won't notice this immediately. It may take a little while. Therefore, I plan to send in a resume and cover letter each week. Perhaps the letters will begin to tell a story, or suggest subliminal influence. Perhaps one will simply say "Please hire me," 50 times. I see it going one of two ways- he takes out a restraining order, or he gives me a job.





Also, I started a Facebook group called "Joss Whedon Should Hire Kristi to Work for him", and I am trying to get as many people to join as possible. I'm hoping this will drum up some attention from his people.





I am putting this in God's hands, and will see what happens. I'm not sure if this is something I'm supposed to do, but I do hope that soon I will be able to start making my living from my art. I am so thankful for my current job, but I hope to be able to use my mind and my talents, and not just my hands.

First Contact

Last week I registered with Central Casting. For those of you who may have never heard of it, Central Casting is the main source for extras, or "background" actors, in the film and television industry. As a non-union performer, I would receive $64.00 for 8 hours of work, and $126.00 for 8 hours of Union work. Right now as a non-union actor, I really cannot afford to spend many days doing this work instead of massage. I did want to register, however, thinking that if I had a day or two off, I could try to get some extra work, and start spending some time on sets. I plan to try to get my first day of background work this week. As always, I'll keep you posted.

Something interesting happened, though, when I was leaving. I had to stand in line to get registered, and it was a long line. There are designated days for union "talent", and then for non-union talent. There must be hundreds or maybe even thousands of people filing through that place each week. So, I went outside, and there were two ladies handing out fliers for acting workshops. Or, I should say, one handing out fliers and the other doing a survey of some kind. I did not think much of this at first, because everybody and their brother has an acting class or workshop out here. It is how people getting started network, and usually there are showcases at the end of the class at which, theoretically, there will be casting directors and agents just waiting to discover you. So, I thought this was just another one of these.

Then, though, I happened to notice as I was looking over the flier that the very small print had L. Ron Hubbard's name in it. Of course, I know what that means- Scientology. Then I saw that the $17.00 fee for this workshop, pretty cheap for such a workshop usually, included a copy of one of Hubbard's books.

So, I asked one of the ladies if this class was associated with any particular group, and SHE DENIED IT!!! I guess they hang out there because of the mass of people who file through there all the time- a numbers game, maybe. And I have the copy of the survey but have not looked at it carefully yet. If it's interesting, I'll try to share some of it with you later. So, there you go. First contact with Central Casting, and with creepy Scientologists. It was quite an eventful week.

BTW, IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND ARE A SCIENTOLOGIST, I HOPE YOU DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO BEING CALLED CREEPY, BUT COME ON...

Trying Something New

So, I have been needing to get into a church here in the Los Angeles area, but the task of starting the search for the right one has lost out the last few weeks- lost out to my laziness and self-imposed frustration over the daunting need to find the needle in the haystack- the right one among all the churches here. Excuses. Why do I put this on myself? I can't do anything on my own- I can't find the right friends, the right job, the right man. I have to follow the Lord in these things. Why do I think looking for a church would be any different? I don't really. I just really like to sleep in, and I make whatever justifications to myself that I can.


I also think that one of the problems I have had for a while is that some of the churches I had tried- and I have to say that often I probably did not give them a fair chance, nor had made the effort I should have to get involved with the people in them- were helping me to grow or engaging me as a Christian in the way I wanted to be engaged. I was finding worshipping God much easier while reading a book or watching something inspiring. But God wants us to have that support of other believers, and that love between us, and I think there is a congregation for everyone. I should address this more in another blog, because I think it is an area that I need to explore.



So anyway, this week, I am trying to take the step. After calling Mastermedia (thanks to Robin's suggestion), a super outreach ministry to people in the entertainment industry, I was able to get referrals to a couple of sites for Christians who are new to this area, particularly those who are entertainers. One excellent one is http://www.hollywoodconnect.com/. In addition to great resources, support and encouragement for like-minded Christians, they suggest a list of churches whose congregations are sympathetic to the needs of those in the arts.


I looked at the list just a few minutes ago, and found one that I am excited about trying. Years ago, as I studied and grew in God's word, I began to learn more about the Old Testament and how the history of the Hebrews seems to paint the picture, across the canvas of millenia, of Christ's life and sacrifice. The beauty and meaning of the Feasts of Israel began to really come alive to me, and I longed to be able to participate in a Passover Feast. I have never had the opportunity, though.


A while back, I even started planning a documentary I wanted to shoot about Messianic Jews, who often suffer persecution from both other Jewish people and Gentiles because of their choice to serve Jesus Christ. Our own ignorance as a modern society is astounding sometimes, in that so many people think Christians and Jews are polar opposites, and one could not ever be the other.


On the list of churches on the Hollywoodconnect site is a congregation called the Beth Ariel Fellowship. Here is the description of their mission:


"Beth Ariel Fellowship is a spiritual home for Jews and Gentiles who have embraced Yeshua (Jesus) as Messiah and Lord."


I am excited, and as I have always felt a strong kinship with the Jewish people, I hope to be able to really grow in my understanding of how God truly has, I believe, written across history the story of man's redemption through preparing His Nation for the coming of His Son! I am thankful He allowed us Gentiles to be a part of it all!


"It is not as though God's word had failed. For not all who are descended from Israel are Israel. Nor because they are his descendants are they all Abraham's children. On the contrary, 'It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.' In other words, it is not the natural children who are God's children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham's offspring." Roman 9:6-8


Praise God! This is Good News! I'll try to keep you all posted on my search for a church home and how this congregation works out.

Something Flows Freely in LA, and I Don't Just Mean Opportunity

*****WARNING: SOME 4-CHARACTER WORDS MAY FOLLOW**************

So, culture shock is a real thing. Share with me some of the often crazy differences between this world and the one I left in Georgia.

-Motorcycles can apparently legally ride between lanes. Like when traffic is moving slowly, they can zip between cars. I thought at first I was witnessing some rogue riders doing this, but it happens a lot, so I assume it's legal. This is strange, and increases the potential of swiping one of them with my car.

-Pedestrians are everywhere and I am having to try to be diligent to watch out for them, and the bicycles all over the place.

-The grocery stores sell liquor- not just wine and beer, but liquor.

-The apartments do not generally come supplied with refridgerators. Thankfully my roommate had one.

-People "curse", or as we call it back home, "cuss", in the course of a normal conversation just like they might be discussing a vegetable garden. I noticed the word s%!# being thrown about by a few people shortly after I got here. I did not see this as a big deal, though- I just thought maybe these people had a saltier vocabulary than most people. Then, however, my boss used it when we were talking about pigeons, and a massage material supplier whose store I was in used another expletive while on the phone with someone. It was a small store, but she did not seem the least bit concerned about my hearing her. This was a surprise. Certainly in Georgia, I know a lot of people who use strong language on a regular basis, but in the South, most people will get to know you before breaking it out. In a business setting, it would be considered, in most places, highly unprofessional to speak like that. But I'm not in Kansas- or Georgia- anymore.

-The parking is amazingly complicated here. I would say the majority of parking is done on the street in the LA and Santa Monica areas. But there are problems. Some of it is free, and some is metered, but even the metered parking is usually only for a max of two hours. Street cleaning is a common interference, in addition to busy times of day when parking is forbidden. So, you may come upon a sign that says: "NO PARKING EXCEPT 2-HOUR PARKING MON-FRI BETWEEN 8AM AND 6PM AND NO PARKING MONDAY BETWEEN 10AM AND 12PM." I need a mathemetician to decipher these instructions- they are word problems. "If you can park here between 8 and 6, but cannot between 2 and 4 on Thurs, and 9 and 12 on Mon, Wed, and Fri, what is the likelihood that you will escape without a ticket?" I'm thinking, not good. Although, amazingly, I have not gotten one yet. Let's see how long that lasts!

It's Good to Know You're on the Right Track!

So, since the Westward Ho! Adventure ended, I've been living in California for 22 days. Amazing things have already happened.


First, I managed to land an apartment and a roommate, who is actually a pretty sane, somewhat stable individual with whom I get along amazingly well. This happened while I was still in Georgia. As I began my apartment search via Craig's List, I started to run into problems. Most apartment management, naturally, wanted me to have a job before they would rent to me, or I at least needed one to put on the application. I had a job when I was trying to apply, but it was still in Atlanta, and with most landlords, I didn't think a job 3,000 or so miles away would count much. Then, I was running into issues with some places not even allowing me to fill out applications remotely. I was getting distressed.


Meanwhile, I had several friends back in the Atlanta area who were graciously hooking me up with whatever contacts they had in Los Angeles. One of these friends whose family I had performed with for years, told me about his nephew and niece who were active in the theatre scene out in Los Angeles. So, I began talking to his nephew on facebook. One night, as I was stressing over my apartment issues, I decided to ask him if he knew of any landlords in the area. I thought if I had a personal connection- at least a friend of a friend of a friend- I may stand better chance. I needed a place to live. Remember, I had my dad and the crew ready to caravan my stuff on an extended cross-country trip. We kind of needed somewhere to land when we got here.


What do you know? It just so happened that he and his wife, he said, were apartment managers! They rented two bedrooms in Northridge, in the San Fernando Valley. This sounded fine, but I was looking for a studio, and had not been planning on having a roommate. After all, I was taking my animals with me, and it is difficult to find a roommate you can trust around your animals. Plus, I didn't know of anyone with whom I could room.


One thing I have learned, however, when you turn a situation over to the Lord, is never to say never, and to keep whatever plans you make flexible, because they are likely to change. And this is certainly a process I have tried to give to God from before the decision to move was ever made. Thus, when this fellow said he knew someone who might be looking for a roommate, a friend of his, I listened to what he had to say. I talked to my potential roommate online and over the phone, and things fell into place from there. The rent is affordable, much more reasonable than what I had expected to pay out here. The building is secure- believe me- I have lived in scarier places! (At one apartment I lived in, I was up late one night, heard my cat growling low on the couch behind me, looked over at the window where the blinds were only open a little at the bottom, and saw a pair of legs standing there. I freaked out and called the police. Thankfully, the legs and whoever they belonged to went away.) At the new place, I have a private parking space with a security gate, and the main street entrance is also gated.


And as for the pets, this place does not accept dogs anymore, and if you will remember, my little dog died back in March, shortly before my finding this place. Though that was a sad aspect, it still goes to the fact that God truly does work all elements- the good ones and the tough ones-together for our good, and provides for everything we need. My dog was old, and for some reason God obviously wanted me where I am, and either way I have to trust His decision to take Rocco when He did. Thus, I have a nice place to live that fits well within my budget, and a nice person with whom to live. And I know Who to thank for it!


Second, I HAVE A JOB!!!!! I managed to land one interview, again through Craig's List, before I left Georgia, and that was the one that took! (I am not a whole-hearted proponent of Craig's List- you have to be careful when looking for opportunities on that list.) I arrived on the 1st of May, interviewed for the job on the 4th, and went to work on the 11th. I think I have mentioned before that, in order to eat, I am a licensed massage therapist by trade. It's pretty good work and offers a decent paycheck (most of the time) along with schedule flexibility, which is one of the reasons I entered into this field. I wanted to be able to take off for auditions and other artistic ventures. Plus, I just have never been much of a 9 to 5-er, and don't much care for desk work.


This job is awesome. I mean, I really thank God because it is such an amazing blessing. My bosses seem so far to be very nice. It is a family-owned business, and they have six locations around the Los Angeles area. We can work on a permanent basis or a pick-up basis, or a combination of the two. We can work at any of the locations. Thus, there is as much or as little work as we need or want. As a person who needs a flexible schedule in order to pursue her art, but who also needs a certain amount of work every week, it is the perfect set up. I think God planned it just for me. Maybe that's a little self-centric, but it just seems so perfect! Plus, there is so much more work than there was in Georgia! This was my theory before I left- that I would do better as a therapist here because of the general concern in this population over natural health and body care, and it has proven true. Wednesday, for example, I did eight hours of massage. I have not done that much massage in one day since, I believe, at least 2004. Plus, the tips are a lot better!


I wanted to share this all with you so that you can know how very thankful I am to have been provided for as I have been. I felt peaceful before I left that this move was God's will, but for such a big step and big change, it is so wonderful to have the path made so straight by the Lord as it has been in this case. I feel like I went through a lot of trial before I left, but all of it was based on fear and worry, and not on anything that was coming from God. God opened the doors for this trip before I left. Some doors were not opened until the end, but I still always had that peace that I was doing the right thing. When doubts did come, they were fear-based, and that is how I was able to determine what was right. For example, at one point, it looked like I may not have the money I needed to get started out here. I prayed to God for guidance, seeking out whether or not I was making a mistake or if I should go forward with my plans. The Scripture I received in answer was the one- please forgive the paraphrase- where Jesus sends out the disciples and tells them to take nothing with them when they go. It's been an amazing faith walk, and continues to be. I would love your prayers if you feel led to give them, that God would continue to provide for my needs, that whatever reason He sent me here would be fulfilled, and that most of all I would stay strong in Him and put Him first, not being led astray by the wrong friends or the wrong projects.


Thanks so much for following the progress of this journey, and I will try to keep the updates coming!

When Your Niece Moves to L.A.

Is this typical? Is this what happens frequently when a family member moves cross country to Los Angeles?

I was fast asleep last night around midnight when my cell phone sounded off, letting me know I had a text message. Half asleep, I read this from Kristi: "Just felt my first quake. It was so weird."

There was supposedly a small quake when she was moving into her apartment, but she said she didn't feel it. Her landlord told her about it. But she felt this one. Must have been bigger. What does a loving, concerned aunt do in such a situation? If they're like me, they drop the phone and go back to sleep. I just figured, it's L.A., these little things happen.

Then I heard it on the news this morning. It made the national news! I'm a teensy bit ashamed of my lack of concern. I'd also like to tell her to take the next plane home to Georgia, where the worst that will happen to her is to have a tree fall on her during a tornado. Okay, maybe that's just as bad. So maybe I should just chill and trust God, right?

She is doing very well. I know she'll be catching you up soon, but I was impressed to check out the Big Hollywood blog this morning and see one of the writers going on about a fancy restaurant on the upscale Santa Monica pier, and know that's where Kristi's working. Here's the link if you want to check out the post, which is really funny: I, Jerk.

Kristi, have you seen this restaurant?